I was enjoying a relaxing afternoon on the patio of my favorite independent tea house when I was violated by the smell of burning nicotine. I turn around to see who is choosing to be so rude when I see a gorgeous brunette with a cancer stick. It just killed me that so someone would chose to kill themselves with cigarettes.

After moving to a different location it occurred to me that I should have stopped and asked why she was so inclined to smoke? Was smoking still considered cool in here circle of friends? Did she not know a cigarettes contain more than 4000 chemical compounds and at least 400 toxic substances. How about the age old message that “smoking is bad for you”?

I so wanted to go pull one if my classic lines – “My uncle is the Surgeon General and he told me that smoking is bad for my health.” buy I didn’t I took my tea and headed back inside.

As i got situated at my new table, I kept thinking that I could have stopped and questioned her behavior and than I started to see something different – was it my place to question her behavior? Who am I to judge her and her behaviors and habits?

I didn’t get or understand why she smoked and probably never would, but maybe it was not for me to get.Maybe it is the societal pressure around smoking that made me want to say something, maybe it is a moral obligation to save someone. All I know is that i did not say anything and it is probably for the better.

My energy is better spent looking at the smoke signals in my own life. As I thought more about it, I began to realize there are things that I do that maybe people don’t agree with. It was in that moment I began to reflect on the fact that who was I to judge this smoking hipster?

So what things could be worse than smoking? Well I came up with a list of things that may be going on in your life – I know some of them were happening in my life:

– do you not maintain the exterior of your house decreasing property value in your neighborhood or bringing down the overall appearance and atmosphere of your neighborhood?
– do you play your music or tv too loud making it uncomfortable for housemates, family, neighbors, the person in the car next door?
– do you do things in public that could be considered gross or inappropriate?
– do you always dress appropriately for where you are going and what you are doing or do you have to make sure to stand out?
– do you drink to much or rely other substances to have a good time becoming a liability to those around you?
– do you do other things while driving ultimately affecting the way you drive?
– what am I doing with my professional life am I living up to my potential?
– am I taking care of my body, getting enough rest, eating health, relieving stress from my life?
– do you take people for who they are or judge them based on who they are, what they do, where they live, where they shop, what they are wearing, etc.?

So the next time you are ready to judge someone else for their habits, it is probably better to look inward first and see what area of your life is sending smoke signals.